Marriage is about US not ME

Okay I have been hearing a lot lately how people looking for marriage ME ME ME, but no US.

To be in a successful marriage is a definition of Love, Teamwork, and Compromise. There words that I feel start a good foundation for a successful marriage.

In order for someone to make a decision that they will commit their life for a long period to another, let’s face it there has to be LOVE. I don’t mean love for money, or material things. What I mean is that you love the person you are waking up every morning with and go to sleep with every night. I mean if all of a sudden your awake and your spouse decides in their sleep to fart, burp are you really getting up and sleeping the rest of the night of the sofa? If they snore so loud are you going to sleep in the sofa or are you going to wake them up and make them sleep on the sofa? Or if they make annoying noises when they eat, you still finish eating with them right?

Being in love with your spouse is the key to living with them that makes your marriage stable. Let’s say this Love is one of the basic foundations that are needed in a marriage to become stable. Having that you are able to “put up” with a lot of flaws your spouse has. Let’s also realize that they love you so much too and have accepted your own flaws as well.

Second is having or being a team, no marriage is successful (as least long term marriages) without being a team, unit, a well oiled machine. This takes a couple of years to get established, it doesn’t mean that in five years you can say we still aren’t a team. We are still learning, bull! That just means you both aren’t putting an effort. Being in a team is easy, why because for most of our lives we have been put into situations that we are forced to work in a “team” type projects. Now that your married this seems like a new concept ( even though some make it seem they have never experience it ), being in grammar school you had a buddy, being in college you were put into teams ( groups ) for some assignments. In a work environment we are alway in teams or work along side with other departments ( teams ) to accomplish a project you might have… So why is it difficult for some to work as a team with their spouse?

Let’s mention children, who raises them? Didn’t it take two people to make a child? Then shouldn’t it take TWO to bring them up? Of course in this new age single parents are more common and some even play a dual role… At this point I’m not talking about them because they aren’t get ready for the KEY WORD: MARRIED. For the ones that are both working it shouldn’t matter who makes more or less, or who is at home more.. The point here is that you BOTH have to work as a TEAM to raise these children. You do it at work WHY NOT AT HOME.

Third concept I mentioned is Compromise right? Yeap… I left this last because it seems that most marriages do not know how to do it! Really?! I mean can’t people recognize that when growing up we had so many compromising situations we were AGAIN put in. Also because this goes hand in hand with TEAMWORK, amazing right? *rolling my eyes here* I mean seriously to me this is common sense. I know that everyone wants their OWN things, accomplishments and other materialistic things. To the point that I’ll mention children again, parents go so far as to compete in who is the best parent. They start to talk badly about each other with their children ( making a joke or complaining ) constantly. They start to treat each other badly and undermine the others disciplines or tasking for the children. Don’t you all realize you are showing your children to be selfish and become egotistical beings? Who would want to marry a person with those type of traits?

Compromise is the best thing a marriage can have, think about it. It’s easy you both can sit down and talk about your individual goals and dreams. Then you can discuss the goals and dreams for the Marriage ( yeah you have two categories weird huh? NOT! ), you then make a plan on how both of you can work together ( teamwork! ) in order to get your individual wants but still be able to accomplish and give the marriage the structure it needs! Jeez did I just in a way mentioned team work? Funny how that word comes up here… Maybe TEAMWORK is the key, Anywhoo compromise is again another common sense factor we have had our entire life.

I know that a lot of marriages are different, people marry for different reasons. I just think that people should feel like marriage is an old relic tradition that has no meaning or purpose. It does if you work at it.

Let’s face it marriage isn’t easy and as my mother and father advised me and my husband when we got married. Marriage is something that is worked in 24/7 what you out in it will come out it it.

You know what they are right. I have been married for four years going into five up this month and I guess that’s why I posted this topic. Marriage is beautiful and amazing when you are with the right person, but just because they are the right person doesn’t mean it will be successful. My husband and Insha’Allah will be one of those rare marriages that last as long as my parents ( and they are still going strong!), one were our love is stronger, our teamwork is stronger and our compromises are more stabled.

Until Next Time,
LK