Looking into the mirror I saw all of my 28 years of my life flash before me.
I was a kid again, going through all of the hurdles and challenges that Allah (SWT). Some were life threatening, some were hard lessons and others were to build me into the woman I am today. I can’t say that I Loved it but I can say this was the path that Allah (SWT) has chosen for me and I accept his decision. I smile at my reflection thinking of some of those events in my life.
Dodging bullets, my first car lesson, the first time getting knocked on my ass because the dam shotgun kicks back like hell! Changing schools, having my first crush, graduation. I remember trying to tag a long with my sisters but I got told “Not yet, it’s not your time, don’t try to grow up to fast”. I hated those words but I thank my family telling me. They helped shaped me into the woman I am today. Military life gave me all of my combat and technical skills that I learned which helped build my career.
Nothing though… Nothing could have prepared me for this…
My eyes look around the small room and I feel like they are closing in, I feel anxious, scared. This one wish that I always though was un-attainable seemed that finally was coming true. The butterflies threaten to fly out of my stomach, my lungs wanted to collapse against each other making every breath become a gasp. My body felt like jelly as the hour grew near to this event. My mind felt numb and questioned if I truly was making the right decision. I looked at my hand and wondered…. They aren’t trembling, why aren’t they trembling?
Hearing all the noise in the background a part of me was thankful that all the arrangement were taken care of without me handle anything. Oh of course a few decisions here and there and months of driving back and forth.
Suddenly a hand was in front of me and I starred at it blankly.
“Mi hija estas lista? Si no quieres no me importa quien dio el dinero no te llevo.” Came my father’s strong and soothing voice.
All those questions and doubt I had flying through my head left. the butterflies calmed down and went back to sleep. The walls became wide and beckoned me to walk this small hallway. My lungs took a deep long breath and I new … I am ready, I wont fail, all of the what if’s would become into reality….
WIth my decorated henna hand I reached for my fathers hand. “Si, Papi. si lo quiero. Estoy lista.” I told him with confidence and conviction I just realized I had.
Don’t get me wrong I was still a bit frighten, other questions came to me when we started to walk down the short hallway. When we stepped onto the red carpet I missed a stepped but my Dad being beside me and giving me his support and love I looked across the aisle.
Those Dark brown eyes looked straight at me and everything around us vanished. Those doubts exploded and misted around me turning into millions of hearts. Each step I grew more excited and shy. Each step my heart pounded with love and devotion. Each step I wanted to break into a run towards this man and get be near him.
The hold of my father and the small tug brought me into reality. I couldn’t rush, I have waited 28 years for this day, I could wait a minute more. Then we were on the steps, my heart wanted to explode…
Then my father placed my hand in his and I felt the sparks. I felt the energy, the love and anticipation. Looking into his eyes again I saw a question and I answered him.
I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. Even though we hadn’t said it in our eyes our smiles everyone knew that we had already said:
Until Next TIme,
As you can see if you read it all… For 5 beautiful years I have been married to a wonderful man. My husband. Of October 24, 2009 we became a unit, a team of love and respect. This post can not begin to explain the extent of our love and commitment to each other. My love If you are reading this… I LOVE YOU, you are MY KING and NOONE or ANYTHING can make me love you less. Through ups and downs we have managed to be happy. Insha’Allah we have many more years to come.