Married but single

What does marriage mean?

My definition may not be like everyone else’s, but of course I don’t the “typical” parents. My parents defied their family. For one my father’s family didn’t want him being with my mother. My mother’s family didn’t want her being with my father because of my fathers family lies. Two different family backgrounds financially, support system, siblings and also the belief of religion.

My upbringing compared to my parents was very “liberal”. I was raised to believe to accept anyone and respect everyone. To not look at financial status or social status to befriend someone. To accept a person for who they are on the inside not on what they can do for me or look outside.

When it comes to love my parents told us to look at a man’s character not his social or financial value. To be certain he believed in God, to make sure that he was a family man. That he was loyal and a hard worker. We shouldn’t look at his race, looks, money, or any material possessions he can have.

I am starting to believe that I might be a rare form of human specimen. Why? Do you ask. Its simple, I see most people getting or wanting to get married and the first thing they look at is the social class or financial standing of a person to see if they are “compatible”. They expect to be given but not to give. There is no compromising, and people wish to keep having their own individual “lives” instead of combining them.

When did marriage become a commodity? When did marriage become another way of living a single life but having sex with only one person? When did marriage become a damn contract?!

When did marriage become a thought of “if it doesn’t work out we can always get a divorce”. Or “I still want my dreams but don’t care about yours”.

Whats wrong with society? What are we teaching our children? Its okay to marry but you have to look at the monetary value of what the other person is bringing in? Its okay to be selfish, un-compromising spoiled brat?

When did it become okay to think (women in this instance), “my money is mine but his money is mine”. How the hell does that work! Keeping two separate accounts because you don’t want him getting your money but he still has to dish out the money for the living, vacation and luxioures gift expenses.

Sorry but marriage is sacred, its a union and commitment to each other, a bind that no one can interfere with. Marriage is between two people and the rest of the family become part of the background. You both have to figure out what you want in the future in order for BOTH of you to accomplish it. Call me old fashion or as I said before I’m that “rare specimen” that truly believes love will conquer all. Without love in a marriage you don’t have respect, trust, communication, dreams. Your always clashing with each other because you both want separate things.

I’m sure I wrote about this before in a different type of way. So if I’m boring you sorry, but seriously I am tired of seeing people take the “easy” way out. When I hear people talk about marriage like a negotiation of some sort it really pisses me off. Hopefully the future generation learns from this generation and come back to the realization that Love is one of the primary KEY in making a marriage last long.

Until Next Time,
LK