My Buket list Then and Now

Everyone I’m sure has heard the term Buket List. If you haven’t then hopefully I will be able to explain it in a few words. It’s a list that you write at one point in your life or throughout your life, of experiences or things that you would like to accomplish. Most people like to accomplish their list when they are single. Some people like to have it finished by a certain time frame regardless if they are married or not.

Well I have never actually written my bucket list but I have always known what I wanted to experience and accomplish. Its weird that looking back all these years that I have accomplished so much more then what was on my bucket list. This list in my life have changed but I never realized it would change this much. 

This is my bucket list before I even thought of getting married:

1. Be in Law Enforcement especially the California Highway Patrol: 

I didn’t joing the CHP but I was in the CHP Explorer Post 530 South Los Angeles office since I was the age 15 – 19 year. I experienced DUI stops, Felony stops, drug bust, colliisions some death on scene some just minor traffic collisions. I competed in several regional and state competitions in teams of a 2 unit partner team, swat team. Even though I didn’t wear the badge I experience the lifestyle of an officer and it was a mind blowing experience.
2. Have my own childcare buisness:

Even though I have done my surveys, built my buisness plan I never executed it all the way. The time I was planning this I was still in the military and by the time I got out life just kind of took over and I left it in the back burner.
3. Jump out of a plane:

Even though I got as close to jumping from a plane in the military I have never down it. Even though I have repelled from a plane (not moving or turned on) for training purposes it still gave me that adrenaline rush. I’m sure doing it for real that rush will be even more awesome!

4. Travel the world:

Thankfully with my military job I have been able to travel. Maybe to not all of the exotic places I would have wanted to but I at least have seen very people places, cultures and people.  

5. Join the military specifically the Marine Corps:

I joined the Marine Corps and it was the best 4 years of my life. Even though I couldn’t continue because of my injuriies I don’t regret this decision at all! I did join the Army after to keep my career but unfortunately the Army is nothing like the Marine Corps and I just couldn’t continue. The military is changing and brining in boots that seem to not understand that the military is not a 9-5 job nor is there any individualism or democracy… 
6. Take care of mom and dad:

I was fortunate to help out my mom and dad when they have needed it and Allah (SWT) has blessed us to keep helping them in any way we can. Money isn’t the only way you can help family out..
Now my bucket list has changed

1. Travel: 

This travel I hope to do it with my husband and not by myself. I already did the road trips, spur of the moment vacations and escapades with my friends and by myself. It is time to enjoy my travels with my husband now, to share those moments and experiences with him and Insha’Allah our little ones.

2. Wife and Children:

I never though of being married when I was in the military. Did I have relationships and was I engaged once yes. I always felt if I was married in the military it would be a very difficult to hold on to a mariage and have children, especially when you are constantly being deployed. Now with my King, I am able to give my full attention to him and to our future little family. IThis might not be in everyone’s bucket list but it is in mine.

3. Closer to Allah (SWT):

I lost my faith in a young age, I was mad and it didn’t want to believe in anything. Once I started to believe it was a difficult and slow process for me. I tried many religions but none gave me the feeling as Islam did. Now that I have found my path Insha’Allah I become closer and follow the path he has written for me and my husband. Insha’Allah as the days goes by I hope that my love and faith grows stronger and I am able to meet Allah (SWT).
4. Jump from a plane:

Yes I still want to do this. This will probably be by myself since my husband doesn’t want too, but I’m okay with that and so is his.

5. Owning our buisness:

I no longer wish to have my own child care provider but I am wanting to own out rental property like that I can still stay at home and be with our kids if we have any. Or I can finally replace my husbands income and we can start traveling more often.

6. Publishing my thoughts:

I want to be able and publish my books that I have in mind. Yes Shadow Voices is one of them and I am itching to start my second one too. I also have my poetry that I love creating and this blog that has helped me come out of my shell more and more each day. If I can not get published in the traditional sense I will be looking into self-publishing from amazon, nook and other websites. I have stopped myself to much I can’t do this to myself any more. Insha’Allah this will be a new career for me. It might not be a money making machine but it will be a passion that was lost but found again.

These are my itmes in my bucket list. Is it the “normal” I really don’t know since I have never been normal. Will the list expand most liekly, I lived my single wild days so I don’t fell the need of hanging out with my “girls” or going on vacations by myself. This time I want to share my life with my best friend my husband. I can’t imagine doing things without my husband by my side.
What is on your bucket list? Has it changed, Why? Comment below of your list or if you already posted one then put your link on here. Remeber any comment you put on here feel free to add your link, lets help each other out and meet new bloggers and grow as writers. Plus it is always great to read new post from bloggers from all over the world.

Until Next Time, 


Writing dilemma, Thank You

So I am still only writing on my iPhone. I think that I’m getting a bit better at not messing up the writing..

I truly miss my iPad.. I need to get the car from hubby and go to the Apple Store, to see if they can fix it.

I haven’t posted as much because well I hate writing on the iPhone, but I can’t stop either.. I want my flow to continue..

I also want to thank all of you that follow me and for my new followers. I know that I am basically writing a mixture of my life, creative writing and all other topics. I guess my blog is becoming more of who I am then what I had originally intended.

I hope this will keep you all interested to keep reading. Thank you for the likes and few comments that I have received. They are greatly appreciated and welcomed!!

Until Next Time,

A Society of Negative Events

Being disconnected from the world can be a blessing in disguise in our home. We don’t deal with the tragic news of what is going on around us. Of course there is the drawback of actually not knowing if it will effect us or not.

So what we do to make sure that we are still in the loop is… Hubby watches the cable tv that is provided at his work. I hunt for news around the internet and the Roku has an app. I go there at least once every two weeks to see if there are huge events that we need to know about.

A while back having a discussion with someone, they informed me that I have a lack of what life is. I live in my own little world and I have disconnected from reality…

Now, in a way yes I could take that as an insult but I didn’t. First everyone is entitled to their opinion. Growing up where I did, the career that I had showed me a lot of ugly in the world. I don’t have to go to a television to see people killing each other, or to see racism. I don’t need the news to tell me how we are in an economical strain as a nation.

If you closely pay attention to what is happening locally, when you go out and see stores going out of business where they used to flourish with customers you can tell. Even buying the groceries you know there is a strain since almost all food produce has gone up in price. Not to mention that most stores have taken away some “rewards” program for their customers because it is not cost effective.

I might be in my own little world but I disagree on being disconnected with reality. I choose to not live in a place where I am constantly seeing negative events take place locally, nationally, and globally.

Does this make me into a bad human being, or uncaring then that is other peoples opinion. I truly believe that society has taken reality and twisted it into a fantasy world for most. Unfortunately most people instead of questioning the programs they watch regatrdless if they are news, talk shows, etc. We are becoming complacent.

Watching these negative events everyday on a television has made us not care about helping one another when we see it personally.

Our society depends so much on these news, talk show, internet to give us the “hot topic” that we forget to stop, close our eyes and enjoy ourselves.

Why don’t we stop and start enjoying our lives, start surrounding ourselves with positive inputs that when we see something negative we react as we should. With sympathy, empathy, wanting to help and lastly outrage that anyone can do some monstrousness things to other human beings.

Until Next Time,


In Holiday Spirit, Merry Christmas

As everyone knows I am Muslim, saying this I will still like to express to the people that do celebrate this Holiday.

Merry Christmas! We at my home do not decorate or do anything special. Usually we skip the holidays to visit hubbies family then the next my family. This year we were with my family and I can say that I had a time of my life.

First stop was with my parents. They are Catholic so they celebrate Christmas Eve. This year I told my mom that I wanted to make tamales ( Central American) type, so we went out and bought all of the ingredients. Of course for hubby and me I bought us a separate pot and meat since we do not eat non-halal food. It took us two days to get everything ready. On Christmas Eve I picked up hubby from work and went straight to mom. I swear I love my parents, they love my hubby so much that they treat him as if he was their own son. We laughed, joked, talked and ate. We waited until midnight (by that time my hubby and dad were snoring away, only my mom and me were up), to give us our hug and kiss and wished each other Merry Christmas. My parents gave us a gift which we opened and we loved it!

The next day hubby and I went to see my sister. They are Christian so they celebrate Christmas Day. Of course hubby and I cooked us a meal to take to their house since they eat non-halal. I can say we had an awesome time! They also had a gift for us and of course we loved it! What I loved about that day the most is how mom and my hubby started to play monopoly.

Has anyone played it and lasted about one hour and no one loses.. Yes that was the case. Mom and hubby just wouldn’t lose. My sister was the banker my brother in law just pitched in his two sense as dad and me. After awhile since mom was wining I became her “financial advisor” and my brother in law became my hubbies… I swear we all were laughing so hard. Who thought that mature adults could act like such children.

The funniest thing though is that the actual children (my sister and brother in laws kids) were in their rooms playing their video games.

Even though hubby and I do not celebrate this holiday it doesn’t mean that you cut off the family members that do. You respect them enough to accept their gifts and spend time with them. These holidays for my husband don’t represent the “birth” of anyone but it does represent the unification of family and building trust, communication, and long lasting memories with the people you truly care about.

I truly hope that all of you have spent these Holidays with the person or people that truly matter in your life, if you can’t physically be with them you can at least call them and let them know you care.

So all I can say is

Merry Christmas


A Little Update

So I know that I said I am taking a break, yes I am trying to because next week we will be going to visit hubbies family and I want to have the apartment cleaned before we leave.

There is nothing better to come home from a vacation to clean home! So Yes I am trying my best to tidy up. I also am trying to think of cold foods to make so we can take with us on the drive up there. We don’t want to spend that much money on food so I’m trying to cook chicken and other things that we can eat cold.

Sometimes though your fingers itch and you can’t help but write…

Anywho… I also want to let everyone know that while I am taking a break to prepare for the holiday vacation, I am also looking for a job. Not that I need to but I think earning some extra cash and not being at home bored ALL day will be good for me. Don’t get me wrong I do love the fact that I can dedicate my whole day to writing but I also have chores that I need to complete. After all is said and done I am just tired and I start thinking things I shouldn’t be.

Well just a little update as to why I am taking a break. Don’t worry I am working on pieces to be publish once the 25th comes around.

Who knows… I might get an idea of a new book to write… Or a surprise on my current book who knows???

Until Next Time,

Our Dreams after Debt

I can say that right now my husband and I are ending the year with a bang!

For our short five years of marriage we have been dealing with debt. When we did manage to save a bit it seemed that a wedding came up or some type of emergency that we had to use it. We didn’t mind but for five years we have not gone out as much as we both would like.

We have so many dreams of traveling that unfortunately they have had to be put in the back burner. Now that we basically have about one year left into our debt it seems that we have started to truly save and have a little bit of extra cash.

Thankfully right now we have been traveling because of hubbies job, and last weekend we were able to travel to Vegas because of his best friend. We only stayed there one day then came back here for the weekend but that one day was great and amazing! We didn’t leave Vegas until after 1 am.

Now we both want to experience the traveling before we have a baby. Yes we are still going forward on having a baby but it is slow… Maybe we can get a couple of trips in before we get the little one. Then we will be going to family trips instead of couple trips lol..

Yes I’m sorry this post is a bit more about my life and dreams, I’ve been thinking about it more and more and I think it is time for us to treat ourselves with all of the hard work we have been putting in.

Until Next Time,

Out of touch….

I know it has been a couple of weeks. Hubby is traveling for business and well since I don’t work (meaning have an actual paying job) I go with him.

I love where we are right now, the only thing I hate is that there is sh@ty internet! So I can’t post as regularly and I can’t even do my translation articles!

Even though I can use my phone but let’s face it… I don’t have unlimited data and I can’t connect to their sh@ty wi-fi, so I have to be very peculiar on how I use it.

Not to mention phone reception isn’t the greatest either. The environment is beautiful and breath taking though!

What this means for my blog: unfortunately for the whole month of October I might not be posting that much since I really have to watch my data plan as I said before.

I will do my best to post something on here. I am writing on my IPad and as soon as I get connected to the wi-fi you might be bombarded with a lot of post.

Until Next Time,

Dear Sister…

This month is your month, the day you were born, this month is just a bittersweet moment for me. For some reason unknown to us; you left through that door leaving pain and confusion behind you. For over seven years on this month I crave to hear your voice and tell us that your okay. I crave to know the reason why you had to leave us behind.

I love you, I miss you and I wish I could hug and kiss you. No matter your reason we will always be here with open arms waiting until the day you walk back into our lives.

You never gave us a chance to fix anything if there was something to fix. Or even told us if somehow you need more of our help. This month is your month and it hurts me every time it comes by. I stare at your photo and I imagine you talking to me, telling me that it was just all a dream. That you never left, that I can look up and when I do you will be there with your beautiful smile and laughter. If this is a joke it is a cruel one, I never knew you to be this way.

Now through technology and a person’s huge heart I am able not only to see you but also the little family that you have for yourself. My nephews and one niece are the best gift that I can have. Looking at their innocent faces I wish I can tell them that Aunty loves theme and misses them. How I wish I could have been there when they first talked, walked. So far from my reach I grab the little comfort that these few photos bring me. What little information that this person gives me I cherish and engrave it into my mind and heart. These will be the only photos that my children will know of their cousins and I begin to cry again.

Seeing the tears and pain looked at our parents face when I tell them what I found out I am getting closer everyday in resenting you. I wish I didn’t feel the love I have for you. I wish I could rip all of our childhood memories from my mind and see you as a stranger that you have let yourself become.

When I see their pain I just want to rip you apart. How selfish can you be to the ones that gave you life, the ones that raised you. They gave so much of their life for their 3 princesses and how do you repay them? By turning your back to them. When you needed shelter, food and money to get by they gave it to you. Your sister gave shelter and took you to interviews, and I… What I did was nothing as long as it was to make sure you and your kids were okay. We aren’t asking for payment we are asking to be apart of your life because we love you. How can you smile and enjoy life when you make me be the one to tell our parent’s the bad news..

I am doing my best not to hate you, not to delete every memory that I have about you. I pray to Allah (SWT) and I ask forgiveness for the black stone that is slowly replacing the stone of love that I have for you.

I hope one day you stop being selfish and for your children sake or for our parents sake you pick up that phone and tell them the truth. I was the messenger that hurt them today and that I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.. The day you finally come back I truly hope I will be able to welcome you with love and care as I once wish..

Your loving little Sister




Hectic Month

I know I have been MIA for awhile, as I have already said hubby and I were moving, I was editing my story and well with all of that combined with his parents going into the emergency room I really didn’t have time to update here.

I apologize for the long wait but finally it seems that our lives are once again going back to a routine. The only downfall is that I cannot edit my story everyday because I don’t have access to a computer all the time. I changed my story to a Microsoft word doc in a usb and well my ipad does not support that. I am doing some research of an app on the ipad that I can not only write but it gives me a word count. If any of you know of an app that way please let me know because I need it bad!

I actually got my first comment of Wattpad!! I’m so happy!! Of course it wasn’t a type of critic which is okay. It was more the reader stating “I can’t wait to see where this is going.”

I hope that is good comment and the first of many Insha’Allah. I have 122 reads on my book on wattpad but no comments so I am really excited!

I am going back to work, lets get one thing straight being a house wife is hard!! I mean we are only working with one car, so I take hubby to work and pick him up. I don’t take him lunch anymore so during the day I basically do laundry, clean the apartment, do grocery shopping, cook, take care of a few errands he has for me, drop off and pick up cleaners. In the mist of all of this I also try to read a book (in spanish), write, go see my parents, text or call friends and also keep in contact with my mother in law. SO can you really blame me for wanting to go back to work. Now I can’t say hubby doesn’t try to help me around the house its just not all the time or everyday. Its okay but by the end of the day I am tired!

I’m just trying to get a part time or if a full time job, something that is not about career growth. I’m looking more like a receptionist, clerk, light bookkeeping etc… I actually went to a temp agency I used to work for when I got out of the military so they have all my information. Insha’Allah I will be able to start soon.

Next week I will be going to my in-laws, I’m flying down there. My mother in law needs a bit of help and her daughters can’t time take time off any more. This feels a bit weird since they are my in-laws and I will be there by myself. This is the fist time that I will be with them this long by myself and separated from my hubby for this long since we have been married!

This has been a long post but mostly now you all know that has been going on with me and my hectic month. Insha’Allah you will here more about me on a regular basis.

I am still editing and will update a few Chapters up here not all. I am starting to think that I think I want to see if this one gets published. First I have to finish it and I want to finish it fast.

Until next time,


Vacation / writing update

Ok so I have not out up my writing update nor have I really written that much.

1. I have been busy with life “issues”
2. I have had BAD writing block syndrome!!
3. Preparing and packing for our vacation that we are going to.

While I am gone I will be writing ( my inspiration is coming back ), I set a date for the end of December to finish Shadow Voices (first draft) only. I have a friend that is going to help me edit ( I’m not the best ) so that should put the process of the final product closer.

We are discussing the publishing side.. Should I do it first of all ( I’m scared I think no!! ), should it be self published or go to a publish house.. I’m so scared of that part but I will cross that bridge when I get there. If we think its good enough we might. Plus I have been semi-promoting It right now… I just don’t know if it will be any good to make sales lol

Any who!!! I wanted to say that while I’m on vacation I will not be posting anything since I will be in a no internet zone ( parents home ). So sorry for the long delay (about 2 weeks ). When I come back I’m sure that I will have so much post to publish on here you all will be writing for me to stop lol.. Hopefully that doesn’t happen lol.