I have heard many people talk about marriage and how after a certain amount of time they don’t have that “spark” that they started with. Which then they say leads them to be unhappy in their marriage. They stay together but then live a different life.
I don’t understand that… How can you lose the “spark”? One of my friends once told me that after 7 years of her marriage she loved her husband but it felt more “routine.” I ask her to explain and she said, the “I Love You” started to be said less, all that texting at night and day is now once a week or when one or the other needs something.
Another friend told me he loved his wife but that he needed his “guy” time. I asked what was “guy” time. His time was being away from a “nagging” wife, she always wanted him to do things around the house. If he sat down to watch the game she would come and tell him to play with the kids. He wanted to just be able to come home and relax. Not to worry about “chores” or the kids.. If they wanted to go out his wife would make a big deal on who took care of the kids.
Talking to another couple of friends they kind of understood the other two. I even understood them. After a day at work you just want to come home and not have to worry about doing anything. What I couldn’t understand is how all of them said the same thing.. They lost that “spark.”
Well hubby and I just hit our fifth year and I can say we still have the “spark.” After we got married we went to visit my parents. Talking to them they gave us one advice. Don’t lose the “spark”!! What! I asked them if they could explain. Have they lost theirs?
No came their reply, we haven’t lost it because when you truly love someone you will always make sure you put them first. They told us that whatever feeling we were feeling when we looked at each, then thats the feeling we should work on keeping and try to make it grow.
I can say my husband and I have heard people tell us.. You can work on your marriage during the weekend or you still need to get your time alone with friends. If you guys take separate vacations you will miss each other more so your love will stay.
Now I know these are all well intended advice but some of these people are either singled, divorced or going through a divorce. Some are not happy with their spouse but stay together because “its just not done” or they use the children as an excuse.
All I can say is that every marriage is different, not everyone wants the same thing in a marriage. Some want money, others want to be taken care of, and some just go into it as a business.
What I do know that in my marriage we Love doing things together. We had our single years and went out with our friends, drank, partied and went out with people. We also paid our own bills and knew that by the time we met we were ready to enjoy and share our individual lives together.
The times we spent apart we hated it! We couldn’t sleep and we were texting and talking to each other most of the night.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you can listen to other peoples advice but in the end its what you both want that truly counts. Each side of the family says two different things, friends suggest opinions and then lets not get into books, internet and all that stuff.
If you love each other then make sure when you make this commitment you both have talked about what you want from the marriage, not financially or kids but talk about how you both want to have a lasting marriage.
Until Next Time,
LK
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A Muslim Latina 